It Keeps Getting Better!

I know it’s been a while.

I haven’t forgotten. Yet again I’ve become ‘overextended…’

But it’s not altogether a bad thing. It’s just like summer in Florida – when it rains – it pours!

For the past several months my sketch comedy group has been preparing to perform at the Orlando Fringe Fest – a veritable orgy of live theater from Central Florida and around the world. We were just starting to feel like we were in pretty good shape
when suddenly one of our players got a major job that took him out of town.

All that rehearsal time – grrr…

But none of us could begrudge him. So we recast and we’re back to full steam ahead – only more intense to get our new guy up to speed.

Then Agnes of God happened. It was a production that I was aware of last fall, but I had been told it was already cast. Then THEY lost an actress and decided I was the best fit – and well…

Yes – rehearsing for two shows that all but overlap. I rehearse for Agnes of God Sunday and Wednesday evenings and Monday, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. I rehearse for the Humor Mill Monday and Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings. I rehearse with my improv troupe Random Acts of Insanity Tuesday evenings. And I sing at Our Lady of Lourdes Saturday afternoons and Sunday Mornings. I teach lessons Tuesdays and Thursdays at noon and sometimes perform Friday and or Saturday nights.

I haven’t done laundry or cooked myself and honest to goodness meal in over a month now.

Because - WAIT – there’s more.

About three weeks ago now my co-executive producer and I signed off on a ‘final’ version of ACTION!!! (my movie) and decided to show it to the cast and crew, put it out to a few more festivals and send it off to a few more distributors.
(We watched the final edit a couple days after we got our first official offer for the film which was not high enough – but still about three times what we spent in cash…)

What has happened with that in just the last three weeks has been truly unprecedented.

We heard back almost immediately from one of the festivals that we were selected and that selection in that festival guaranteed us selection in up to 8 additional international film festivals sponsored by the same partners.

These festivals will be taking place over the next 12 months in Ireland, England, South Africa, Thailand, Egypt, India and Whales.

So now we’re hustling for sponsorship money to fund trips all over the world.

In that same week I managed to line up a radio interview at Rollins College and an interview with a former associate of mine from the Florida National Guard Public Affairs Office on the day of the preview AND a nationally televised appearance on The Daily Buzz with film cast mate Mitch English.

On the day following the interview I went to St. Petersburg for the Sunscreen Film Festival where I was able to meet with and pitch to four different distributors, all of whom seemed genuinely interested in the concept and the story behind the film. Some of whom had major connections to even larger companies…

Of course all this happened a couple of days after the preview itself where we managed to sell off the remaining shares and meet a gentleman who has connections to yet ANOTHER major distributor. The preview was HUGELY successful and today I heard snippets of our first journalistic review which included the phrases ‘the best thing to come out Florida since Disney,’ and ‘the most mature Florida film since Blair Witch.’

Oh yeah – and another thing. I found out Monday that a short I was in is showing at Cannes in a few weeks. So my flip-flopping over whether or not to go just shifted into – ‘Oh my heck – I’ve GOT to get there,’ mode.

Can you say WOW?????

I’m riding a roller-coaster and it’s incredible.

Last night I had to cry. I mean really cry. I got crazy upset over some little thing that wasn’t really anything and cried until I felt better again.

But, there’s been a little bit of a down-side. I haven’t been sleeping. I haven’t been eating much or particularly well. I just keep GOING…

Most of the time I’m cool with that, but right now, I could use a little break. So I’m getting a little one. Nah – I’m taking a little one…

This is the crazy part. I started this blog to catalogue my life turning around. Completely changing from what it has been up to this point – and you know what? It’s happening! It really is!

This is definitely the REAL DEAL. Of course I’ve been putting the wheels in motion over the last few years with the filming of ACTION!!! last year being a BIG piece of that. But lots of people shoot movies and never really do anything with them. This really IS different. I am manifesting this. And it really helps that I have so many other people on this journey with me.

I’m really making it and it’s more amazing than I ever dreamed!

New Project

I'm riding a new wave of energy and inspiration these days.

I still have some personal baggage to deal with, but I finally feel like my new year is in full swing and I decided to start a fiction project here as well.

Warning: It's my dark side.

Most of what I write creatively, tends to be comedic. I tend to see the world in very dark comedy. This new project of mine however is quite a bit darker. I might temper it a bit. I'm not sure yet. I'm still in the creation process of the universe in which my characters live. I actually decided to tie it into an older idea I had. The other story is slightly more upbeat.

This one - we'll see:) At any rate - since it's in its 'pupa' stage right now, try not to be too hard on it. It actually has a post-apocalyptic Vampire theme - how cool is that? It's a horror/fantasy/sci-fi blend. It will probably make a great graphic novel someday:)

Anyhow - on to other stuff...

I'd been fighting with myself to get my house back in shape after my mom left. Then I got a lucky break. One of my friends invited himself over for dinner and a movie. Nothing gets me moving faster than PEER PRESSURE!

I pulled the house together with lightening speed, made Beer brats and potatoes, and we watched Zombie Land and Russel Brand stand-up. All together a great Sunday evening;)

To make matters better - I had SUNSHINE yesterday and warm weather - ahhh.

Actually - that too is something I've started 'willing' ever since I got the bike week gig. I have to show off my bod a little bit so some sun is a very good thing - no one likes a pasty beer-tub girl;)

Still concentrating really hard on bringing lots of good stuff into my life. Mo' money, lot of luuuuuv and fun opportunities for travel and my improv troupe. And a MOVIE DEAL...

Lately I've been waking up looking forward to my days - and that's a great sign that all things are headed in the right direction.

Here's a mantra I wrote just before the first of the year - Enjoy...

I summon love, companionship, efficiency, success -
That I may with love and time and cash all those around me bless :D

Checking in and Shaping Up

So, I'm already off by a day - Cest la vie!

I'm not sure how realistic it is for me to try to blog daily - but I can attempt it, right? How does one go about getting readers here anyway? Link and advertise on Twitter or fb?

It was much easier to cull a following on MySpace. Sigh...

Anyhoo - I'm plugging along at being productive. I'm following up on improv leads and building our calender again - oh that's right - you all know nothing about me.

I direct an amazing improv troupe called Random Acts of Insanity. We've been performing in Central Florida since 2005 but we recently took a brief hiatus while a few of us did a local production of Rocky Horror and I took a well deserved breather from being 'in charge' of everything.

It can really wear on you, you know.

Let's see - what else should you know about me. I directed a feature film which is finally almost completely done. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517578/ That's the crazy thing about movies. You shoot them, you edit them and then it still takes a year for the pick-up shots, the final edits, the sound mastering, the ADR, the post FX and the final, FINAL mastering to be finished. (I'm sure I'm still leaving out a step or two.)

We wrapped on principle photography on May 15th of 2009. We finished the first viewing edit by June 25th. We didn't manage to get the pick-ups shot until October but we finished the final content edit just a few days later.

All the other stuff? I just had to wait - and waiting is something I'm not terribly good at. Making menacing phone calls and sending reminder emails? GIFTED! Finding other people to pick up the slack when the ball has been dropped? AMAZING! Sitting back and relaxing while other people do their jobs? Needs improvement:(

Nobody's perfect!

So this is part of my transformation from an anonymous but talented young-ish looking woman to an entertainment industry 'IT GIRL.' From a nine-toed disabled veteran barely surviving from one benefit check to the next to a multi-million or even billionaire benefactress.

My dreams are not small. They never have been. One of my biggest challenges has been financial. I do not come from wealth and my family didn't really educate me about money. I'm not BLAMING them for my short falls - I've been learning and tempering my understanding with some crazy unabashed risk taking.

My biggest problem so far though has really been my beliefs about money. That's what I'm working the hardest to correct right now. I am trying to come from a place of abundance, which can be difficult when your earliest and constant memories are of scarcity. And in truth, as much as I'm working to change my attitudes about money, cash is of far less importance to me than pursuing my art.

It is a necessary resource and nothing more. It's just a tool and a nice thing to have laying around in plenitude. I've been working specifically this week to attract it to myself saying things in my mind and out loud like, "Money is drawn to me. I have far more than I need at all times. Thousands and millions of dollars are coming to me. I am receiving money constantly in the mail, from jobs, from contests and as gifts. More and more money is coming to me everyday. I win money because I have good luck. I manage my money intelligently and am able to benefit other people with my abundance..."

You get the picture:)

So I'm getting improv leads, and a chance to teach more private drama students, and my film is almost done. I've also started networking on an online Female Artist Network - here's my page http://www.womenintheartsww.org/profile/HillaryJ
When I'm focused I achieve so much. I know this. The trick is staying focused...

A Brave New Blog...

I am coming to you live from my home in Edgewater Florida: population Me, Bonita (a tuxedo cat) and Reggi (a handi-capable Mali Uromastyx.)

I'm a MySpace transplant. I used to blog there all the time, and now, it's like the old part of the Vegas Strip - cheap, deserted, tacky, and crawling with viruses and the dregs of cyber-society. So on I moved to Facebook - which is great, don't get me wrong - but nobody really reads 'Notes.' Hell, I write them but even I don't read the ones my friends post. Who has time with all the Farmville and Mafia War updates to keep abreast of?

And Tweeting is for the birds - obviously.

If I could regularly condense my thoughts into simple little 140 character quips, I'd have internet on my phone...

No, my thought processes are slightly more complex - or at least more verbose:)

Just an advanced warning - I :) a lot. I love :), -, and ...(.) I was never allowed to use them high school or in my military journalism school. And yet, since I've started blogging, I have know idea how I ever felt that I could express myself properly without them.

Then again, you're discouraged from putting yourself in your writing when you write articles and essays. Blogs however are delightfully self-indulgent. It's exhibitionist Diary keeping for the pseudo-intellect in each of us:) Yum!

So I don't even know really who is out there or who might be reading - but this is my introductory post - so I'm trying to e-shake your hand (far less contagious that way - not that I'm a germaphobe - I was in the military for crying out loud!!!)

I have some specific goals for this space. As you may have noticed I have entitled my blog Altering Reality: The 2010 Project. I know better than to assume people know what that means. Undoubtedly the vast majority of the two of you that stumble upon this blog will probably have in inkling of the concept given the blatant clues given in the title - but I warned you, I am verbose - so allow me to embellish.

In recent years I have become very in touch with the Humanist Movement and the Law of Attraction-ites. I've read The Secret, Conversations With God, Excuses Be Gone and Infinite Possibilities and am still periodically working on Think and Grow Rich. But reading books only makes you a scholar, not a practitioner. So now I'm trying to put my new-found beliefs into action. And I want to make a public accounting of my adventures.

I propose that within the coming calendar year - in less than 12 months - by the end 2010, I will alter the course of my own life to the extent that I won't even be able to recognize it - and I want you to come on this journey with me.

What's the worst that can happen? I can 'fail' miserably. A year could go by and I could still be broke and relatively lonely and not have achieved any further measure of success than I've already reached. Hell - I could even 'back-slide' a little and wind up worse for the wear, and you could all be witnesses. All five of you. (Notice how my reader number is already rising:)

But these scenarios are not likely to play out for one very important reason. I am NOT a fan of public humiliation. I am actually doing this to create a sense of accountability for myself.

I know that when I have to 'report' to other people, I'm exponentially more likely to accomplish my 'mission.' And if I can really do this and record it and you are all witnesses to it, maybe you'll begin to do it too. Maybe everybody will alter their own reality to a point where we all have exactly what we want in abundance including the intangibles like peace, love and contentment.

Or maybe you'll read this - think I'm a total crack-pot and continue to draw misery into your own existance because that's all you've ever known or believed in. That part is up to you in the long run.

But as for me and my blog - I will aim to inspire.

Of course - in the next few days, as you get to know me better (I'm going to try to update daily - crossing fingers - exceptionally difficult to do while typing) you'll learn of my current reality - the one I'm striving to alter. Not all of that is inspirational at the moment. But I want it to be. So as long as I have a goal in mind, at least I have hope of better tomorrow.

I invite you to read - to share with friends and to comment. I am a bit of an attention whore - I readily confess to that. Do not however get too disheartened if I don't always reply back right away.

A large part of altering my reality will come from my physical actions when I'm not on the computer. I'm very much a 'doer' with a very active life away from my computer screen. I know in the past I've wounded the feelings of 'online friends' who feel like I don't give them enough attention. Please don't be one of those people and we'll get along famously:)

Well then - enough for now. It's a pleasure to e-meet you! I'm sure this is the beginning of a beautiful blog-venture:)

With love and warm wishes -
The Original Hillary J