Back on 'The Wagon'

It may seem like I’ve fallen off the wagon – and admittedly, to some degree – I have.

But not to worry – I’m hopping back on before too much damage is done I didn’t mean to stop blogging. I just got so busy living my new and improved life that I was running out of writing time. Of course, I really should know better.
The first few days I blew off journaling and blogging were fine – but for some reason, the longer I go without recording my thoughts and ‘precording’ my dreams, the farther off track I get.
I know writing probably doesn’t do it for everybody – but it really does keep me focused. We all have our own buttons and triggers. For me, apparently, sitting down and spelling out my intentions and dreams on paper or a computer screen hold some magical combination of power over my mind, emotions, soul and physical existence.
I suppose it’s just that the written word has always been extremely powerful to me.
Sure – there were a handful of shows that my family watched together on TV when I was little, but I have more distinct memories of my mom reading books to me when I was a child. I had a beautifully illustrated GIANT GOLDEN BOOK version of Dumbo that I loved. And the first book I could read by myself was called A Home for a Bunny. Maybe my Chinese Zodiac sign had more to do with my formative years than I thought because another favorite was of course the timeless classic Peter Rabbit.
Then there were the ‘chapter books.’ Ginny and Geneva, Nancy Drew, A Little Princess…
When I was five I told my mother I was going to be a writer. When I turned six I wanted to be EVERYTHING! But I’ve always enjoyed writing.
When I was 18 and enrolled at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts this very well-intentioned friend who’d read some of my poetry told me, “I don’t know what kind of actress you are, but I can tell you this – you are an excellent writer.”
I was actually hurt at the time.
I’ve always seen myself as a performer. But now that I’m older, and wiser(?), I see the importance of good writing in the creation of all performance art and I embrace the me that loves to do both. Writing doesn’t take away from my abilities as an actress. If anything, it adds to them. Because when I read a script for the first time, my writer self sees the intent of the writer who wrote the piece. Then I let my actor self make additional choices that enhance the original intent without detracting from it.
So it only makes sense that something that has unlocked my imagination from my earliest recollections should be the tool through which I am able to manifest the life of my dreams.
Duh…
I wasn’t completely without inspiration over the last couple weeks as I worked a promotions gig for Bike Week, another promotions gig for a swanky Amelia Island car show, cantored multiple masses, rehearsed for Fringe Fest, worked to finish post production on my film, followed up on two new production gigs, and performed two RAI improv gigs at a new venue (whew!).
Here’s a song I wrote a few days ago. Thought you might like it

Sometimes I look in the mirror and don’t like who I see
Because I have not yet become all that I want to be
And I focus on the flaws, and I wonder about how
And I can’t see past the present – the limits of here and now
But before I give in to absolute despair
I whisper my dream aloud into the stagnant air
I am a winner
I am a fighter
I am a lover
I am brighter – than any star that’s shone before and my name’s on the tip of your tongue
I am successful
I am giving
I am laughter
I am living – and I’m only getting started - yeah, I’m not even close to done…

I think therefore I am – is what Descartes once said
So all I have to do is change the thoughts inside my head
And for so many years, I not so patiently waited
But now I know the change comes the moment I create it

I am a winner
I am a fighter
I am a lover
I am brighter – than any star that’s shone before and my name’s on the tip of your tongue
I am successful
I am giving
I am laughter
I am living – and I’m only getting started - yeah, I’m not even close to done…
Each life is full of infinite possibilities
Achieved by making our dreams realities
And I am altering the course of humanity
Simply by changing the way that I see me
I am a winner
I am a fighter
I am a lover
I am brighter – than any star that’s shone before and my name’s on the tip of your tongue
I am successful
I am giving
I am laughter
I am living – and I’m only getting started - yeah, I’m not even close to done…

Hope it helps keep you on track too!

Hillary J.

Staying Ahead of the Curve...

So last night I had a business meeting with one of my production partners. We got a lot done. We have a job that we're hoping to shoot on Friday the 12th.

Woo hoo!

And it's looking like the Sizzler will also be a 'go.' So - double woo hoo! With those pieces in the can AND Action!!! we'll have quite the schnazzy demo-reel for our little company and I JUST discovered an agent who helps match up advertisers with full service production companies.

Granted - commercials aren't my 'end all - be all,' but I do believe they can become a quick and easy revenue source and resume builder between larger projects.

I feel the wind-a-changin' :) Of course that could be because it's been CRAZY WINDY in Daytona the last couple of days!

It's funny - I had a really difficult time getting myself to my job yesterday because I was feeling kind of down. But I tried to think positive and 'suck it up' and went with a positive attitude and something really cool happened.

I had a great day.

But a huge part of that was changing my perspective. I was hired to be a promotions girl. And I'm great at it - I'll admit it. But I had my most successful day when I was honest with others about who I am and what I do. I very pleasantly told people when asked that I was an actress and a film producer and I wound up feeling happier, more confident and I made more money yesterday in spite of crappy weather than I'd made any of the other days so far.

I guess the trick is to always remember who you are.

Yes - I know who I am!

I am Hillary J. Walker - actress, singer, writer, producer, director, entrepreneur, friend, success and all around great person!

I promise I'm not bragging - just stating the facts:) You should state your facts too!