It's kind of crazy - but things are already really starting to turn around for me - so thank you!
It's reporting to you a few times a week that helps to keep me on track!
Yesterday was simply amazing. I got up early to write. I had to finish what we're calling a 'sizzler' script to promote a TV show that some of my business contacts have in development. I had to hand it over yesterday and if they like it, odds are that I'll get the opportunity to help produce it. If the pitch goes well - hopefully I'll get to work on the series - so viva la 'SIZZLER'!!!
I taught my acting student and actually finished a little bit early so I met another business partner for lunch and discussed the sizzler and few other projects we've been working on putting together.
When we parted company it was on to a quick fitting and photo shoot to promote a promotional event (no - I'm NOT being redundant - that's exactly what it was;)that I'll be doing with one of my improv troupe mates in March.
I managed to get out of there in time to take yet another somewhat impromptu meeting about producing another project for a new account that another friend's business just landed.
I can't believe how productive yesterday was!
So today I've been making some follow up calls, reconnecting with some old contacts, working some more on the pilot script for the series and blogging about how quickly things got so amazing.
I'll fill you in on one of my little secrets.
It's called my 'Dream Journal.'
In it I write entries as if things I'm trying to make happen have already happened. Like right now, in my dream journal, I'm living in a custom-built home on the river just a few miles from my production studio (neither of which have actually been built yet:)and promoting my newest film while getting ready for the Oscars and starting pre-production on my next major film.
I discovered the power of my 'Dream Journal' about a year and a half ago, but unfortunately I've been sporadic about keeping it. However - without fail - when I do write in it at least a couple times a week the 'gap' between my dreams and my reality closes little by little. It's crazy and amazing and powerful and I don't even understand why I 'lose motivation.'
But this blog is partly about accountability and as long as I keep checking in with you, I know I need to continue to do everything in my power to make progress. So I'll just keep keeping on.
It's so amazingly simple. For just a little over two weeks now I have redirected my energy and my thinking to being a producer. I have kept following up on Action!!!, I have updated a networking site for female artists and I have booked new gigs for the troupe and suddenly everyone is seeing me in a new light - just because I took the time to shine it on myself.
Anything is possible. No - that's not exactly right - EVERYTHING is possible. I just hope I don't run out of dreams when I actually am living in that custom house getting ready for the Oscars. But something tells me with my imagination, that's not likely to happen any time soon:)
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
My Hero:)
So - this one's a little more personal - it's about a friend who did something really special for me last night and regardless of the reasons that he did it - I have to admit - it really made me feel loved:)
I’m sure he couldn’t possibly know how much that meant to me – which is why I had to thank him. But part of me is still reeling.
“It’s not like you to sell yourself short,” he’d said. And he’s right. I frequently feel like I have to remind people of all the hats I wear to get proper credit in my life. You’ve got to understand my background just a tad.
I grew up with boys. A brother, five male cousins, an uncle and a grandpa who teased me incessantly helped me to develop a thick skin and an iron will. I learned to fight hard to get my point across and I frequently find myself becoming a leader in group ventures by default. Hell – being the perfectionist that I am, I’m frequently the one mostly responsible for making sure that group tasks get accomplished at all.
It’s not like I do things to get ‘credit’ for them. I do them to get them done. I do them because I know that I can do them well. My only real complaint is when other people take credit for my work and ideas. Then I get more than a little pissed.
But sometimes, especially when meeting new people I omit details. People tend not to believe me if I try to accost them right away with a full bio of my life. I mean after all – how many people do you know that can laundry list their life with stuff like “Yeah, I was born in Germany, grew up mostly in New York and California, started singing before I could talk, won my first talent show at the age of two, started dancing at the age of four, got my first speaking role in a musical when I six even though they were only having girls 12 and older read for the part, had major roles in 6 musicals grades 10 – 12, got to travel to Europe TWICE in high school and spent New Year’s Eve in Berlin the year the wall came down, moved straight to NYC out of high school to attend the American Academy of Dramatic Arts after turning down an acceptance to one of the NYU Tisch Schools, Emerson and full-ride scholarship for Musical Theater somewhere in VA that wasn’t reputable enough for me… And that was all by the time I turned 18. Let’s not forget the year and a half I spent in Korea as a missionary, the years I spent active in the Florida Army National Guard or all the television shows and films I worked on when I lived in SLC…”
I mean – s’rsly? I lived it and I’m not always sure I believe it
So when the two girls I’d never met before were trying to figure out who the heck I was, I answered by telling them about the improv troupe and about directing my movie.
“Um yeah – let’s not forget wrote, produced and acted in too…”
There was no malice. He wasn’t mocking me like my brother and cousins might have. No – it was almost like he was bragging for me. Like in some weird way he was proud of me or for me or something like that.
And NO ONE has ever done that for me before. The ex used to shut me up because he thought I talked too much anyway. And he worried about me sounding boastful I guess. Or maybe it’s just that since I didn’t make homemade bread and pop out babies he didn’t think I’d done anything worth bragging about. But this – this was so unexpected.
I’m sure he has no idea of how high he’s raising the bar right now.
He’s truly – without a doubt the best boyfriend I’ve never had – and he’s spoiling me so much that every guy I meet is going to have to live up to his standards. Some friends just aren’t aware of the damage that they’re doing
I’m sure he couldn’t possibly know how much that meant to me – which is why I had to thank him. But part of me is still reeling.
“It’s not like you to sell yourself short,” he’d said. And he’s right. I frequently feel like I have to remind people of all the hats I wear to get proper credit in my life. You’ve got to understand my background just a tad.
I grew up with boys. A brother, five male cousins, an uncle and a grandpa who teased me incessantly helped me to develop a thick skin and an iron will. I learned to fight hard to get my point across and I frequently find myself becoming a leader in group ventures by default. Hell – being the perfectionist that I am, I’m frequently the one mostly responsible for making sure that group tasks get accomplished at all.
It’s not like I do things to get ‘credit’ for them. I do them to get them done. I do them because I know that I can do them well. My only real complaint is when other people take credit for my work and ideas. Then I get more than a little pissed.
But sometimes, especially when meeting new people I omit details. People tend not to believe me if I try to accost them right away with a full bio of my life. I mean after all – how many people do you know that can laundry list their life with stuff like “Yeah, I was born in Germany, grew up mostly in New York and California, started singing before I could talk, won my first talent show at the age of two, started dancing at the age of four, got my first speaking role in a musical when I six even though they were only having girls 12 and older read for the part, had major roles in 6 musicals grades 10 – 12, got to travel to Europe TWICE in high school and spent New Year’s Eve in Berlin the year the wall came down, moved straight to NYC out of high school to attend the American Academy of Dramatic Arts after turning down an acceptance to one of the NYU Tisch Schools, Emerson and full-ride scholarship for Musical Theater somewhere in VA that wasn’t reputable enough for me… And that was all by the time I turned 18. Let’s not forget the year and a half I spent in Korea as a missionary, the years I spent active in the Florida Army National Guard or all the television shows and films I worked on when I lived in SLC…”
I mean – s’rsly? I lived it and I’m not always sure I believe it
So when the two girls I’d never met before were trying to figure out who the heck I was, I answered by telling them about the improv troupe and about directing my movie.
“Um yeah – let’s not forget wrote, produced and acted in too…”
There was no malice. He wasn’t mocking me like my brother and cousins might have. No – it was almost like he was bragging for me. Like in some weird way he was proud of me or for me or something like that.
And NO ONE has ever done that for me before. The ex used to shut me up because he thought I talked too much anyway. And he worried about me sounding boastful I guess. Or maybe it’s just that since I didn’t make homemade bread and pop out babies he didn’t think I’d done anything worth bragging about. But this – this was so unexpected.
I’m sure he has no idea of how high he’s raising the bar right now.
He’s truly – without a doubt the best boyfriend I’ve never had – and he’s spoiling me so much that every guy I meet is going to have to live up to his standards. Some friends just aren’t aware of the damage that they’re doing
Monday, February 22, 2010
New Project
I'm riding a new wave of energy and inspiration these days.
I still have some personal baggage to deal with, but I finally feel like my new year is in full swing and I decided to start a fiction project here as well.
Warning: It's my dark side.
Most of what I write creatively, tends to be comedic. I tend to see the world in very dark comedy. This new project of mine however is quite a bit darker. I might temper it a bit. I'm not sure yet. I'm still in the creation process of the universe in which my characters live. I actually decided to tie it into an older idea I had. The other story is slightly more upbeat.
This one - we'll see:) At any rate - since it's in its 'pupa' stage right now, try not to be too hard on it. It actually has a post-apocalyptic Vampire theme - how cool is that? It's a horror/fantasy/sci-fi blend. It will probably make a great graphic novel someday:)
Anyhow - on to other stuff...
I'd been fighting with myself to get my house back in shape after my mom left. Then I got a lucky break. One of my friends invited himself over for dinner and a movie. Nothing gets me moving faster than PEER PRESSURE!
I pulled the house together with lightening speed, made Beer brats and potatoes, and we watched Zombie Land and Russel Brand stand-up. All together a great Sunday evening;)
To make matters better - I had SUNSHINE yesterday and warm weather - ahhh.
Actually - that too is something I've started 'willing' ever since I got the bike week gig. I have to show off my bod a little bit so some sun is a very good thing - no one likes a pasty beer-tub girl;)
Still concentrating really hard on bringing lots of good stuff into my life. Mo' money, lot of luuuuuv and fun opportunities for travel and my improv troupe. And a MOVIE DEAL...
Lately I've been waking up looking forward to my days - and that's a great sign that all things are headed in the right direction.
Here's a mantra I wrote just before the first of the year - Enjoy...
I summon love, companionship, efficiency, success -
That I may with love and time and cash all those around me bless :D
I still have some personal baggage to deal with, but I finally feel like my new year is in full swing and I decided to start a fiction project here as well.
Warning: It's my dark side.
Most of what I write creatively, tends to be comedic. I tend to see the world in very dark comedy. This new project of mine however is quite a bit darker. I might temper it a bit. I'm not sure yet. I'm still in the creation process of the universe in which my characters live. I actually decided to tie it into an older idea I had. The other story is slightly more upbeat.
This one - we'll see:) At any rate - since it's in its 'pupa' stage right now, try not to be too hard on it. It actually has a post-apocalyptic Vampire theme - how cool is that? It's a horror/fantasy/sci-fi blend. It will probably make a great graphic novel someday:)
Anyhow - on to other stuff...
I'd been fighting with myself to get my house back in shape after my mom left. Then I got a lucky break. One of my friends invited himself over for dinner and a movie. Nothing gets me moving faster than PEER PRESSURE!
I pulled the house together with lightening speed, made Beer brats and potatoes, and we watched Zombie Land and Russel Brand stand-up. All together a great Sunday evening;)
To make matters better - I had SUNSHINE yesterday and warm weather - ahhh.
Actually - that too is something I've started 'willing' ever since I got the bike week gig. I have to show off my bod a little bit so some sun is a very good thing - no one likes a pasty beer-tub girl;)
Still concentrating really hard on bringing lots of good stuff into my life. Mo' money, lot of luuuuuv and fun opportunities for travel and my improv troupe. And a MOVIE DEAL...
Lately I've been waking up looking forward to my days - and that's a great sign that all things are headed in the right direction.
Here's a mantra I wrote just before the first of the year - Enjoy...
I summon love, companionship, efficiency, success -
That I may with love and time and cash all those around me bless :D
Friday, February 19, 2010
Feeling Like Me Again...
Since my writings here are kind of new, I don't really expect you to understand the significance of this post - but I'll do my best to fill you in.
I do stuff.
When people talk about 'watchers' and 'doers' I fall under the 'doer' category. I get things done, I make things happen, I stick it out - you get the picture.
Here are some of the things I've DONE.
Put together several summer arts programs for school-aged kids
Written and directed several one-act plays and musical reviews for students.
Created a news program for the Florida National Guard.
Started an Improv Troupe now in it's 5th year.
Organized countless events, activities and fundraisers for churches, schools and theaters.
Produced a Feature length film...
Of all these things the last kind of got to me the most I think. We created the company, raised the money and blew through pre-production in just 3 weeks. We shot the principle photography in just three days. The first edit was done within a month.
But we needed some pick-up shots and for MONTHS we couldn't get in touch with some of our vital production staff. Then we couldn't get our sound-guy, camera guy and our location all together at the same time for a few weeks. Finally in OCTOBER we finished in half a day what we'd been waiting for over 3 months to complete - as far as shooting and editing were concerned.
But for some reason we still didn't have our FX done. We did not need the final shots to get the FX - we just needed the people who said they'd do them to get them done and to us.
I was promised everything would be done by November - and then December - and then January. Meanwhile, film festivals that we'd already submitted work prints to came and went and we didn't make it in because the final print that I was PROMISED was still not delivered. Sound needed the FX - the FX guy was out of town. The FX guy was back in town but the files were misplaced. The files were found but the FX guy decided he needed more time to make them look better.
All this while my co-producer tried to tell me there was nothing I could do. Then I saw the FX. I couldn't believe it. I'd waited all this time for THIS?!?!?!?
My cat with a 'sparkler and bag of Pop Rocks could have done a better job' (and with a cat you KNOW it would have been much more entertaining - LOTS of hits on YOUTUBE:)
So one of my friends who worked as the second AD on the shoot stepped in to try his hand. And my co-producer finally started to smooth out the glitches he said HE'd take care of.
And the Improv Troupe that I've had on Hiatus started rehearsing and booking shows again. And suddenly - once more, my days are filled with meetings, emails, phone calls, follow-ups, proposals and lists and quite honestly I couldn't be happier.
Yeah!
I wasn't sure for a little while. I thought about going back to school even. I don't wait well. But now - I'm me. Just booked yet another gig this week for the troupe. I'm writing again - I'm cooking again. I'm even starting to work out again.
I'd say slowly but surely - but nah - there's nothing slow about it. I'm back in the saddle Baby! And it feels GREAT!
I did get phone call from someone special yesterday. Not the someone I'd hoped - but still - it was great to hear from this person. And as for feeling loved, my cat camped out on my lap last night and made me feel like the entire world revolved around me for a couple of hours and all I had to do was sit there and listen to her purr and enjoy the moment.
So - all together now -
I have lots of money. Money is coming to me from every direction. My improv troupe will perform on cruise ships before the end of the year. My film will be shown in Cannes. I will have an abundance of wealth, love, success and time to enjoy it all. An amazing relationship is starting for me. This year will be the best journey yet! All I have to do is enjoy the ride!
Hang on!!!!!
Hillary J.
I do stuff.
When people talk about 'watchers' and 'doers' I fall under the 'doer' category. I get things done, I make things happen, I stick it out - you get the picture.
Here are some of the things I've DONE.
Put together several summer arts programs for school-aged kids
Written and directed several one-act plays and musical reviews for students.
Created a news program for the Florida National Guard.
Started an Improv Troupe now in it's 5th year.
Organized countless events, activities and fundraisers for churches, schools and theaters.
Produced a Feature length film...
Of all these things the last kind of got to me the most I think. We created the company, raised the money and blew through pre-production in just 3 weeks. We shot the principle photography in just three days. The first edit was done within a month.
But we needed some pick-up shots and for MONTHS we couldn't get in touch with some of our vital production staff. Then we couldn't get our sound-guy, camera guy and our location all together at the same time for a few weeks. Finally in OCTOBER we finished in half a day what we'd been waiting for over 3 months to complete - as far as shooting and editing were concerned.
But for some reason we still didn't have our FX done. We did not need the final shots to get the FX - we just needed the people who said they'd do them to get them done and to us.
I was promised everything would be done by November - and then December - and then January. Meanwhile, film festivals that we'd already submitted work prints to came and went and we didn't make it in because the final print that I was PROMISED was still not delivered. Sound needed the FX - the FX guy was out of town. The FX guy was back in town but the files were misplaced. The files were found but the FX guy decided he needed more time to make them look better.
All this while my co-producer tried to tell me there was nothing I could do. Then I saw the FX. I couldn't believe it. I'd waited all this time for THIS?!?!?!?
My cat with a 'sparkler and bag of Pop Rocks could have done a better job' (and with a cat you KNOW it would have been much more entertaining - LOTS of hits on YOUTUBE:)
So one of my friends who worked as the second AD on the shoot stepped in to try his hand. And my co-producer finally started to smooth out the glitches he said HE'd take care of.
And the Improv Troupe that I've had on Hiatus started rehearsing and booking shows again. And suddenly - once more, my days are filled with meetings, emails, phone calls, follow-ups, proposals and lists and quite honestly I couldn't be happier.
Yeah!
I wasn't sure for a little while. I thought about going back to school even. I don't wait well. But now - I'm me. Just booked yet another gig this week for the troupe. I'm writing again - I'm cooking again. I'm even starting to work out again.
I'd say slowly but surely - but nah - there's nothing slow about it. I'm back in the saddle Baby! And it feels GREAT!
I did get phone call from someone special yesterday. Not the someone I'd hoped - but still - it was great to hear from this person. And as for feeling loved, my cat camped out on my lap last night and made me feel like the entire world revolved around me for a couple of hours and all I had to do was sit there and listen to her purr and enjoy the moment.
So - all together now -
I have lots of money. Money is coming to me from every direction. My improv troupe will perform on cruise ships before the end of the year. My film will be shown in Cannes. I will have an abundance of wealth, love, success and time to enjoy it all. An amazing relationship is starting for me. This year will be the best journey yet! All I have to do is enjoy the ride!
Hang on!!!!!
Hillary J.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
It Really Works!!!
So - I just wanted all you 'Doubting Tomases and Tomasinas' to know that my little positive thinking Money Mantra worked yesterday!
I was offered a short term job for Daytona's biggest cash earner of the year, BIKE WEEK! I will be working for about a week and a half in an official promotion venue for Three Olives. Yippee! Money:)
AND - even more impressive, my partner called to tell me he had a buyer for the remaining stock in our company! That means more festivals, promotions, money for the preview - PLUS a reimbursement of some personal funds I laid down to finish the project a couple of months ago.
AND - I had a great business meeting yesterday about a venue for expanding my teaching practice.
AND - I've got a new line a possible way to get my troupe on a cruise line!
Things are definitely coming together!!!
It's like 2010 has finally started - at long, long, last:)
So - Money is still coming to me - I receive money from many sources all around me, Money is coming to me from work, from mail, from gifts and from contests I win. I am very lucky when it comes to money.
Now - I'm adding a little more positive ju - ju. L'Amore...
I actually have tons of love in my life. I've recently come to embody a new philosophy on love. It actually stems from the Bible quote, "We love Him because He first loved us."
So often we focus on getting love. We 'fall in love' with somebody but when they don't love us back we stop showing them love in our actions and we look elsewhere always seeking the love we can get.
But I've worked to change my focus. I find that the people I love I can continue to love even if they don't 'love me in that way.' Because almost always, when I show love to people through my actions, I receive some sort of reciprocity. It may not be a romantic candle-lit dinner for two. It might just be a friendly phone call when I need it most - or big hug and smile to go with for absolutely no reason at all. Who am I to judge how another person loves me?
The law of attraction, karma, the golden rule or whatever it is you live by dictates that if you keep offering in abundance you will receive back all that you give and then some. It's just the way things work.
So if you keep loving - eventually you receive the kind of love you crave. THIS IS NOT A LICENSE TO STALK!!! There is a difference between loving someone unconditionally and showing them through acts of kindness and words of encouragement and thinking that excessive calling, texting or 'showing up' where they are will somehow 'turn them' - or change their mind or heart. That is NOT unconditional love. That is manipulation - and it's NOT COOL! Repeat - NOT COOL!
So - here's a love mantra for today - let's see how it goes...
I am loved. I love many people and they love me. My friends think about me when I'm not around and enjoy spending time with me. Someone special who I love is loving me right now. Someone I care deeply about will share his feelings with me. A loving romantic relationship is starting between me and another person and it will be fun, connected and long lasting!
Okay - now to sit back and wait to be loved:) If today is anything like yesterday - I won't have to wait for very long!
I was offered a short term job for Daytona's biggest cash earner of the year, BIKE WEEK! I will be working for about a week and a half in an official promotion venue for Three Olives. Yippee! Money:)
AND - even more impressive, my partner called to tell me he had a buyer for the remaining stock in our company! That means more festivals, promotions, money for the preview - PLUS a reimbursement of some personal funds I laid down to finish the project a couple of months ago.
AND - I had a great business meeting yesterday about a venue for expanding my teaching practice.
AND - I've got a new line a possible way to get my troupe on a cruise line!
Things are definitely coming together!!!
It's like 2010 has finally started - at long, long, last:)
So - Money is still coming to me - I receive money from many sources all around me, Money is coming to me from work, from mail, from gifts and from contests I win. I am very lucky when it comes to money.
Now - I'm adding a little more positive ju - ju. L'Amore...
I actually have tons of love in my life. I've recently come to embody a new philosophy on love. It actually stems from the Bible quote, "We love Him because He first loved us."
So often we focus on getting love. We 'fall in love' with somebody but when they don't love us back we stop showing them love in our actions and we look elsewhere always seeking the love we can get.
But I've worked to change my focus. I find that the people I love I can continue to love even if they don't 'love me in that way.' Because almost always, when I show love to people through my actions, I receive some sort of reciprocity. It may not be a romantic candle-lit dinner for two. It might just be a friendly phone call when I need it most - or big hug and smile to go with for absolutely no reason at all. Who am I to judge how another person loves me?
The law of attraction, karma, the golden rule or whatever it is you live by dictates that if you keep offering in abundance you will receive back all that you give and then some. It's just the way things work.
So if you keep loving - eventually you receive the kind of love you crave. THIS IS NOT A LICENSE TO STALK!!! There is a difference between loving someone unconditionally and showing them through acts of kindness and words of encouragement and thinking that excessive calling, texting or 'showing up' where they are will somehow 'turn them' - or change their mind or heart. That is NOT unconditional love. That is manipulation - and it's NOT COOL! Repeat - NOT COOL!
So - here's a love mantra for today - let's see how it goes...
I am loved. I love many people and they love me. My friends think about me when I'm not around and enjoy spending time with me. Someone special who I love is loving me right now. Someone I care deeply about will share his feelings with me. A loving romantic relationship is starting between me and another person and it will be fun, connected and long lasting!
Okay - now to sit back and wait to be loved:) If today is anything like yesterday - I won't have to wait for very long!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Checking in and Shaping Up
So, I'm already off by a day - Cest la vie!
I'm not sure how realistic it is for me to try to blog daily - but I can attempt it, right? How does one go about getting readers here anyway? Link and advertise on Twitter or fb?
It was much easier to cull a following on MySpace. Sigh...
Anyhoo - I'm plugging along at being productive. I'm following up on improv leads and building our calender again - oh that's right - you all know nothing about me.
I direct an amazing improv troupe called Random Acts of Insanity. We've been performing in Central Florida since 2005 but we recently took a brief hiatus while a few of us did a local production of Rocky Horror and I took a well deserved breather from being 'in charge' of everything.
It can really wear on you, you know.
Let's see - what else should you know about me. I directed a feature film which is finally almost completely done. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517578/ That's the crazy thing about movies. You shoot them, you edit them and then it still takes a year for the pick-up shots, the final edits, the sound mastering, the ADR, the post FX and the final, FINAL mastering to be finished. (I'm sure I'm still leaving out a step or two.)
We wrapped on principle photography on May 15th of 2009. We finished the first viewing edit by June 25th. We didn't manage to get the pick-ups shot until October but we finished the final content edit just a few days later.
All the other stuff? I just had to wait - and waiting is something I'm not terribly good at. Making menacing phone calls and sending reminder emails? GIFTED! Finding other people to pick up the slack when the ball has been dropped? AMAZING! Sitting back and relaxing while other people do their jobs? Needs improvement:(
Nobody's perfect!
So this is part of my transformation from an anonymous but talented young-ish looking woman to an entertainment industry 'IT GIRL.' From a nine-toed disabled veteran barely surviving from one benefit check to the next to a multi-million or even billionaire benefactress.
My dreams are not small. They never have been. One of my biggest challenges has been financial. I do not come from wealth and my family didn't really educate me about money. I'm not BLAMING them for my short falls - I've been learning and tempering my understanding with some crazy unabashed risk taking.
My biggest problem so far though has really been my beliefs about money. That's what I'm working the hardest to correct right now. I am trying to come from a place of abundance, which can be difficult when your earliest and constant memories are of scarcity. And in truth, as much as I'm working to change my attitudes about money, cash is of far less importance to me than pursuing my art.
It is a necessary resource and nothing more. It's just a tool and a nice thing to have laying around in plenitude. I've been working specifically this week to attract it to myself saying things in my mind and out loud like, "Money is drawn to me. I have far more than I need at all times. Thousands and millions of dollars are coming to me. I am receiving money constantly in the mail, from jobs, from contests and as gifts. More and more money is coming to me everyday. I win money because I have good luck. I manage my money intelligently and am able to benefit other people with my abundance..."
You get the picture:)
So I'm getting improv leads, and a chance to teach more private drama students, and my film is almost done. I've also started networking on an online Female Artist Network - here's my page http://www.womenintheartsww.org/profile/HillaryJ
When I'm focused I achieve so much. I know this. The trick is staying focused...
I'm not sure how realistic it is for me to try to blog daily - but I can attempt it, right? How does one go about getting readers here anyway? Link and advertise on Twitter or fb?
It was much easier to cull a following on MySpace. Sigh...
Anyhoo - I'm plugging along at being productive. I'm following up on improv leads and building our calender again - oh that's right - you all know nothing about me.
I direct an amazing improv troupe called Random Acts of Insanity. We've been performing in Central Florida since 2005 but we recently took a brief hiatus while a few of us did a local production of Rocky Horror and I took a well deserved breather from being 'in charge' of everything.
It can really wear on you, you know.
Let's see - what else should you know about me. I directed a feature film which is finally almost completely done. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517578/ That's the crazy thing about movies. You shoot them, you edit them and then it still takes a year for the pick-up shots, the final edits, the sound mastering, the ADR, the post FX and the final, FINAL mastering to be finished. (I'm sure I'm still leaving out a step or two.)
We wrapped on principle photography on May 15th of 2009. We finished the first viewing edit by June 25th. We didn't manage to get the pick-ups shot until October but we finished the final content edit just a few days later.
All the other stuff? I just had to wait - and waiting is something I'm not terribly good at. Making menacing phone calls and sending reminder emails? GIFTED! Finding other people to pick up the slack when the ball has been dropped? AMAZING! Sitting back and relaxing while other people do their jobs? Needs improvement:(
Nobody's perfect!
So this is part of my transformation from an anonymous but talented young-ish looking woman to an entertainment industry 'IT GIRL.' From a nine-toed disabled veteran barely surviving from one benefit check to the next to a multi-million or even billionaire benefactress.
My dreams are not small. They never have been. One of my biggest challenges has been financial. I do not come from wealth and my family didn't really educate me about money. I'm not BLAMING them for my short falls - I've been learning and tempering my understanding with some crazy unabashed risk taking.
My biggest problem so far though has really been my beliefs about money. That's what I'm working the hardest to correct right now. I am trying to come from a place of abundance, which can be difficult when your earliest and constant memories are of scarcity. And in truth, as much as I'm working to change my attitudes about money, cash is of far less importance to me than pursuing my art.
It is a necessary resource and nothing more. It's just a tool and a nice thing to have laying around in plenitude. I've been working specifically this week to attract it to myself saying things in my mind and out loud like, "Money is drawn to me. I have far more than I need at all times. Thousands and millions of dollars are coming to me. I am receiving money constantly in the mail, from jobs, from contests and as gifts. More and more money is coming to me everyday. I win money because I have good luck. I manage my money intelligently and am able to benefit other people with my abundance..."
You get the picture:)
So I'm getting improv leads, and a chance to teach more private drama students, and my film is almost done. I've also started networking on an online Female Artist Network - here's my page http://www.womenintheartsww.org/profile/HillaryJ
When I'm focused I achieve so much. I know this. The trick is staying focused...
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Brave New Blog...
I am coming to you live from my home in Edgewater Florida: population Me, Bonita (a tuxedo cat) and Reggi (a handi-capable Mali Uromastyx.)
I'm a MySpace transplant. I used to blog there all the time, and now, it's like the old part of the Vegas Strip - cheap, deserted, tacky, and crawling with viruses and the dregs of cyber-society. So on I moved to Facebook - which is great, don't get me wrong - but nobody really reads 'Notes.' Hell, I write them but even I don't read the ones my friends post. Who has time with all the Farmville and Mafia War updates to keep abreast of?
And Tweeting is for the birds - obviously.
If I could regularly condense my thoughts into simple little 140 character quips, I'd have internet on my phone...
No, my thought processes are slightly more complex - or at least more verbose:)
Just an advanced warning - I :) a lot. I love :), -, and ...(.) I was never allowed to use them high school or in my military journalism school. And yet, since I've started blogging, I have know idea how I ever felt that I could express myself properly without them.
Then again, you're discouraged from putting yourself in your writing when you write articles and essays. Blogs however are delightfully self-indulgent. It's exhibitionist Diary keeping for the pseudo-intellect in each of us:) Yum!
So I don't even know really who is out there or who might be reading - but this is my introductory post - so I'm trying to e-shake your hand (far less contagious that way - not that I'm a germaphobe - I was in the military for crying out loud!!!)
I have some specific goals for this space. As you may have noticed I have entitled my blog Altering Reality: The 2010 Project. I know better than to assume people know what that means. Undoubtedly the vast majority of the two of you that stumble upon this blog will probably have in inkling of the concept given the blatant clues given in the title - but I warned you, I am verbose - so allow me to embellish.
In recent years I have become very in touch with the Humanist Movement and the Law of Attraction-ites. I've read The Secret, Conversations With God, Excuses Be Gone and Infinite Possibilities and am still periodically working on Think and Grow Rich. But reading books only makes you a scholar, not a practitioner. So now I'm trying to put my new-found beliefs into action. And I want to make a public accounting of my adventures.
I propose that within the coming calendar year - in less than 12 months - by the end 2010, I will alter the course of my own life to the extent that I won't even be able to recognize it - and I want you to come on this journey with me.
What's the worst that can happen? I can 'fail' miserably. A year could go by and I could still be broke and relatively lonely and not have achieved any further measure of success than I've already reached. Hell - I could even 'back-slide' a little and wind up worse for the wear, and you could all be witnesses. All five of you. (Notice how my reader number is already rising:)
But these scenarios are not likely to play out for one very important reason. I am NOT a fan of public humiliation. I am actually doing this to create a sense of accountability for myself.
I know that when I have to 'report' to other people, I'm exponentially more likely to accomplish my 'mission.' And if I can really do this and record it and you are all witnesses to it, maybe you'll begin to do it too. Maybe everybody will alter their own reality to a point where we all have exactly what we want in abundance including the intangibles like peace, love and contentment.
Or maybe you'll read this - think I'm a total crack-pot and continue to draw misery into your own existance because that's all you've ever known or believed in. That part is up to you in the long run.
But as for me and my blog - I will aim to inspire.
Of course - in the next few days, as you get to know me better (I'm going to try to update daily - crossing fingers - exceptionally difficult to do while typing) you'll learn of my current reality - the one I'm striving to alter. Not all of that is inspirational at the moment. But I want it to be. So as long as I have a goal in mind, at least I have hope of better tomorrow.
I invite you to read - to share with friends and to comment. I am a bit of an attention whore - I readily confess to that. Do not however get too disheartened if I don't always reply back right away.
A large part of altering my reality will come from my physical actions when I'm not on the computer. I'm very much a 'doer' with a very active life away from my computer screen. I know in the past I've wounded the feelings of 'online friends' who feel like I don't give them enough attention. Please don't be one of those people and we'll get along famously:)
Well then - enough for now. It's a pleasure to e-meet you! I'm sure this is the beginning of a beautiful blog-venture:)
With love and warm wishes -
The Original Hillary J
I'm a MySpace transplant. I used to blog there all the time, and now, it's like the old part of the Vegas Strip - cheap, deserted, tacky, and crawling with viruses and the dregs of cyber-society. So on I moved to Facebook - which is great, don't get me wrong - but nobody really reads 'Notes.' Hell, I write them but even I don't read the ones my friends post. Who has time with all the Farmville and Mafia War updates to keep abreast of?
And Tweeting is for the birds - obviously.
If I could regularly condense my thoughts into simple little 140 character quips, I'd have internet on my phone...
No, my thought processes are slightly more complex - or at least more verbose:)
Just an advanced warning - I :) a lot. I love :), -, and ...(.) I was never allowed to use them high school or in my military journalism school. And yet, since I've started blogging, I have know idea how I ever felt that I could express myself properly without them.
Then again, you're discouraged from putting yourself in your writing when you write articles and essays. Blogs however are delightfully self-indulgent. It's exhibitionist Diary keeping for the pseudo-intellect in each of us:) Yum!
So I don't even know really who is out there or who might be reading - but this is my introductory post - so I'm trying to e-shake your hand (far less contagious that way - not that I'm a germaphobe - I was in the military for crying out loud!!!)
I have some specific goals for this space. As you may have noticed I have entitled my blog Altering Reality: The 2010 Project. I know better than to assume people know what that means. Undoubtedly the vast majority of the two of you that stumble upon this blog will probably have in inkling of the concept given the blatant clues given in the title - but I warned you, I am verbose - so allow me to embellish.
In recent years I have become very in touch with the Humanist Movement and the Law of Attraction-ites. I've read The Secret, Conversations With God, Excuses Be Gone and Infinite Possibilities and am still periodically working on Think and Grow Rich. But reading books only makes you a scholar, not a practitioner. So now I'm trying to put my new-found beliefs into action. And I want to make a public accounting of my adventures.
I propose that within the coming calendar year - in less than 12 months - by the end 2010, I will alter the course of my own life to the extent that I won't even be able to recognize it - and I want you to come on this journey with me.
What's the worst that can happen? I can 'fail' miserably. A year could go by and I could still be broke and relatively lonely and not have achieved any further measure of success than I've already reached. Hell - I could even 'back-slide' a little and wind up worse for the wear, and you could all be witnesses. All five of you. (Notice how my reader number is already rising:)
But these scenarios are not likely to play out for one very important reason. I am NOT a fan of public humiliation. I am actually doing this to create a sense of accountability for myself.
I know that when I have to 'report' to other people, I'm exponentially more likely to accomplish my 'mission.' And if I can really do this and record it and you are all witnesses to it, maybe you'll begin to do it too. Maybe everybody will alter their own reality to a point where we all have exactly what we want in abundance including the intangibles like peace, love and contentment.
Or maybe you'll read this - think I'm a total crack-pot and continue to draw misery into your own existance because that's all you've ever known or believed in. That part is up to you in the long run.
But as for me and my blog - I will aim to inspire.
Of course - in the next few days, as you get to know me better (I'm going to try to update daily - crossing fingers - exceptionally difficult to do while typing) you'll learn of my current reality - the one I'm striving to alter. Not all of that is inspirational at the moment. But I want it to be. So as long as I have a goal in mind, at least I have hope of better tomorrow.
I invite you to read - to share with friends and to comment. I am a bit of an attention whore - I readily confess to that. Do not however get too disheartened if I don't always reply back right away.
A large part of altering my reality will come from my physical actions when I'm not on the computer. I'm very much a 'doer' with a very active life away from my computer screen. I know in the past I've wounded the feelings of 'online friends' who feel like I don't give them enough attention. Please don't be one of those people and we'll get along famously:)
Well then - enough for now. It's a pleasure to e-meet you! I'm sure this is the beginning of a beautiful blog-venture:)
With love and warm wishes -
The Original Hillary J
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